Being “easygoing” stopped being the goal

For a while I thought being good at dating meant being endlessly flexible. I didn’t want to seem demanding, so I became very good at saying anything was fine.

The problem was that some things were not fine. Last-minute plans every time did bother me. Mixed signals did make me anxious. I did want someone who could communicate clearly instead of turning everything into a guessing game.

Having preferences does not make dating heavy. In my experience, hiding them does. It is much easier to relax around someone when I am not constantly editing myself to seem lower-maintenance.

I still like spontaneity. I still want things to be fun. I just want the freedom to say what works for me too.